The Art of Self-Love

Self-love, such a though art to practice to a generation that is constantly bombarded with images of what they should and shouldn't be. Of what is right and what is wrong, we learn that we should love our bodies, our mind and everything about us for simply being who we are. At the same time, we are bombarded with pictures that show us that we are not enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, our life isn't exciting enough. We get stuck in loops of self-doubt, self-comparison and, regardless of what we do, we are never good enough to the crazy high standards we have. Self-love becomes something we preach but the opposite of what we practice. 

If you had told me one year ago that I would be uploading topless pictures to my blog I would call you crazy. I would say that I would never do that, that I wasn't that type of person. Deeply I lacked the self-confidence to do so. To ask someone to take the pictures, to post them. What will other people think? It was a bold move I wasn't bold enough to take. 

As I grow older (and hopefully wiser), I realize that the problem with self-love is that it truly isn't self-love. It's not on us, it's on what other people say, think or do. People talk and regardless of how good looking, successful or amazing we are it will always affect us, because we are all human. 

The moment we are aware of this fact is the moment self-love becomes easier to practice. 

Self-love, at least for me, has risen from simple acts of being kind to myself. To look at myself in the mirror and realizing what I like and what I don't, to do my best to change what I don't. To take responsibility for my actions and my feelings, being the best version of myself is a task that depends only on me. Basically, self-love starts when you are aware of what you have, change what you can, and accept what you can change. 

Something else I've noticed is how little do we know ourselves. We are afraid of being lonely, so we don't spend any time alone, consequently, all that we are, we are because of the influence of other people. 

Most of us are afraid of doing things alone, things like going for a walk, going to the beach or to the cinema, because we have no one to talk to and consequently we have to deal with ourselves, our emotions and our feelings, no more hiding it to the outside because everything, suddenly, becomes both the outside and the inside. It's a hard decision to make, to spend more time by yourself, but it's also very rewarding. I only realized everything I wrote about in this post while spending time by myself, reflecting on my thoughts and my actions. 

We shouldn't be afraid of other people opinions or dressing a certain way, painting your hair a certain colour. Life has no rules and if changing any of those things about yourself will help you feel better with the person that you are, and that you are becoming, do it. If you are happy with who you are and how you feel, if you practice self-love, what others have to say will not matter, it won't make a difference, because you will know that you are working to be the best version of yourself that you possibly can. 

Location: Ilha da Armona, Algarve, Portugal 

Photography: Sofia Filipe